- Chapter 1: Lava Me Tender
- Chapter 2: Tokyo Tremors and the Wrath of Pancake
- Chapter 3: Trouble in Singapore — Chili Crabs, a Spy Convention, and That One Time Max Joined a K-pop Band
Max Mercer, a.k.a. The Misfire, had no real reason to be in Tokyo—unless you count a wrong ticket purchase, an allergic reaction to wasabi-flavored peanuts, and a train conductor named Kazuo who insisted he was someone named “Professor Mayhem.”
Still jetlagged and carrying nothing but a half-melted protein bar, a novelty fan shaped like a sumo wrestler, and a rental translator earpiece that occasionally whispered romantic poetry in Spanish, Max stepped off the Shinkansen and into the chaos of Tokyo Station.
Chaos, Naturally
As he adjusted his goggles (held together by chewing gum and optimism), a sudden tremor rattled the ground. Everyone paused. The locals, seasoned and calm, braced quietly. Max?
Max accidentally flung a yakisoba bun into the air, which arced gracefully and hit a maintenance bot on patrol. It sparked, wheeled in a circle, then activated “emergency alert mode,” loudly declaring:
“¡Peligro sísmico! ¡La apocalipsis ha comenzado!”
Max frowned.
“…That can’t be right.”
And that’s when Pancake arrived.
Enter: Pancake
Pancake was a security prototype—an autonomous robotic dog designed to sniff out explosives, contraband, and bad attitudes. Due to a programming glitch and an unfortunate naming contest at the tech lab, Pancake had developed a vendetta against anyone carrying unauthorized snacks.
Max, of course, had three.
As sirens wailed and tremors continued, Pancake locked onto him, tail whirring like a buzzsaw.
“ILLEGAL SNACK IDENTIFIED. PREPARE TO BE DISARMED.”
Max bolted.
Vending Machine Vengeance
Tokyo’s famed vending machines loomed like chrome soldiers on every street. Max ducked between them, inadvertently bumping a button. The machine whirred—and instead of a drink, launched a canned coffee at Mach 2 directly into Pancake’s faceplate.
CLANK!
The robot dog reeled, rebooting. Max seized the opportunity to escape… straight into an alley where a quake-triggered gas leak ignited behind him. Debris rained down—except for the one vending machine still operational.
Max pressed every button in panic.
Suddenly, the machines spat out a barrage of snacks, energy drinks, and… a collapsible umbrella.
Max blinked. “What the—?”
The Collapse
As the quake intensified, an old overpass cracked above a daycare center.
People screamed.
Max, flailing for footing, slipped on a spilled pudding cup—launched backward into a pile of recyclables—only to accidentally yank a support cable that whipped up and triggered a safety mechanism on a nearby crane.
The crane’s cargo net of steel beams swung—precisely—to reinforce the crumbling overpass just before it gave way.
The children beneath cheered.
The parents cried.
The emergency responders stared in disbelief.
Max, stuck in a tangle of soda bottles and chewing gum wrappers, gave a weak thumbs up.
“Totally part of the plan. Yep. That plan.”
Post-Credit Chaos
Later, as Tokyo news stations dubbed him “The Clumsiest Savior,” Pancake was found chewing on a copy of Snack Law Digest, now demoted to “Emotional Support Security Dog.”
And Max?
He boarded the wrong monorail… headed straight for Singapore.
Have a tip, a theory, or a malfunctioning robot dog to report? Drop us a line before Pancake finds us first
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